I'm Still Me

Today I didn't go to my ward because we got several inches of snow and the whole transportation system was having issues.  Rather than being stranded somewhere or something like that we just went to a nearby ward, the one the professors go to.  We got lost when we went the wrong direction but in the end we managed to make it just in time for them to bring the Sacrament to us in the hallway.  We went in, found seats, and all was well.  The building here is being remodeled so they only had two hour church so we went to Relief Society with the professors' wives and then came back.

So.  We're a month into this thing.  January 5th was my first day in London and here we are, February 5th  and still going strong!  I wanted to do a quick recap, mostly for me to see the progress and all the things that have happened.  It's been a lot to take in so if I don't do things like this I forget it all!

The Ups:
-Personal TVs on the flight
-Um, being in London, hello!
-The first time I ever saw Big Ben.  :D
-Dover Castle! <3
-Wicked
-London Museum, British Museums, Tower of London... anywhere with lots of armor and swords!
-Starting to learn my way around instead of getting lost all the time
-The ward loving us
-Funny things on the Tube
-Holland Park
-London Walks class... being OVER!
-Chipping Campden
-Starting to get to know people
-Nando's and Primark
-Kitchen duty not being the torture I expected
-Fun classes
-Cadbury chocolate
-Playing with the Professors' kids

The Downs:
-My ankle, getting sick, other heath problems that made things more difficult
-Missing St. Paul's
-Not going to Travel Week
-Warwick being a bit of a disappointment
-Taming of the Shrew
-Having to feed myself
-Homesickness
-Struggling with being in the group

The Trips:
Runnymede and Windsor Castle
Hampton Court
Chipping Campden, Warwick, Oxford

Hooray for more ups than downs!  There's a lot more that I could mention but that's a pretty good start.

The biggest surprise is me.  Well, sort of.  I guess part of me was hoping to come here and have another personality transplanted into me.  I kind of imagined myself turning into one of the girls from movies when they visit London and there's groovy music in the background and cute boys show up and every turn and they end up wearing gorgeous ball gowns and are surrounded by friends by the end of the movie.  I was hoping that I'd come and suddenly be all grown up and wonderful, and if not here, that I'd go home and have become grown up and wonderful (still time for that, I guess!).

But that didn't happen.  As it turns out, I'm still me.  I still struggle with all the same things.  I still feel self-concious being around so many girls and worrying about what they think of my hair/clothes/makeup and that I won't be accepted by them.  I still get homesick every now and then.  I still have the same laugh and sense of humor if I get comfortable enough to share them with people.  At the beginning I was on my very best behavior trying to make everyone like me.  Now I realize that I might as well just be me because if they don't like me there's nothing they can do.  They're stuck with me anyway!  Ha!  It's okay that I prefer T-shirts to blouses and I dislike skinny jeans.  I'm allowed to have my opinion--if other people in the group loved Taming of the Shrew, fine, but it's okay that I didn't.

The biggest difference I see is how confident and capable I feel.  I never did things on my own back them.  Even going to the store to grab a thing of mascara would freak me out.  Now I'm comfortable enough to ride the Tube or go get food by myself if I need to, or even if I just want to be alone for a while.  I can handle things.  I don't need someone to hold my hand and help me along.  I can do hard things.  I can solve problems when things don't go as expected.  And if I don't feel like I belong and I don't have any good friends here, it's okay because I can do things by myself and be just fine.  It's a glorious feeling.

I knew coming here would change my life forever.  It's fun to see it starting already!  So there's what I think so far about how things have gone.  It's been awesome!