My Last Day and Going Home

A bunch of people still had finals so I went out as quietly as possible.  I went with Taylor to buy a few postcards and then I hopped on a tube to go to Leicester Square.  I went on a Harry Potter walking tour to see various film locations.  It was also like all the London walks in one walk because it took me through the Theatre Walk, Southwark, The City, Legal London... all of them.  After that was done I decided to take every Tube line I could.  So I went down on Piccadilly to visit Piccadilly Circus.  From there I took Bakerloo to Paddington and then the Circle Line to Bayswater to add to my Central line and Northern Line from earlier that day.  I walked home and just sat at the Centre for a while.  I was feeling very strange so all I did was sit there.  I read the newspaper.  I moved into the servery and ate some chocolate.  I moved to my usual spot by the window to blog.  And there I had a breakdown.  It occurred to me that I was leaving and never coming to back to this moment with these people.  And I sobbed and sobbed.

I finally recovered sort of when some eyeliner got into my eye and had a major reaction to it.  I had to go rinse out my eyes and took off all my makeup.  By then I was feeling better until I was told to go to the classroom where we would give the Masons their card.  I lost it again, especially when Matt told us that his daughter was up in their flat sobbing that we were leaving.  And I couldn't figure out why I was so upset.  I never really made friends.  I mean, I enjoyed being around people and I think they enjoyed being around me. But I never found people that I would always go places with or had inside jokes with or any of that.  Maybe I was upset because I wasn't going to be missed that much except by the Masons.  When people look back, it's not going to be me that they miss.  For whatever reasons, I had a really hard time of it right then.

I went upstairs and wrote notes to the Matt Mason kids.  Cried all over them.  I didn't sleep much because of people being loud and me being upset.  I think I got two hours at the most.  Oh well.

The next morning was rough.  I got teary a few times but luckily never completely broke down.  The worst was when I was talking to Matt's Stacie just about leaving.  Several people cried but I managed to stay pretty calm.   I went for a walk to spend the last of my money which helped me get out and get moving for a few minutes.  Then I just sat in my spot for the last hour.

And then the time had come to say goodbye.  The youngest of Matt's daughters was when she ran up and gave me a hug like she never wanted to let you.  His wife gave me a big hug and told me she loved me.  I felt like I was losing my family.  Matt gave me a hug and told me that they'd see me when they come back.  It's nice to know that they're going to be around but I just stood there trying not to burst into tears.  As the car drove away we all waved and then I realized that I had never said goodbye to Nick.

And then began to long hours at airports and on airplanes.  I did cry a bit for a minute while everyone else left to get food but I was okay after a few minutes.  The first plane ride was mostly uneventful.  Chicago was interesting because we were a little worried we weren't going to get through customs/bag check/security in time but we made it.  We even got to walk on to the ground and up the stairs to the plane.  I did get a little bit more sleep on the second flight.

At the airport my family was waiting for me.  My little sister cried.  I'm not sure they were tears of joy or not.  Then I said goodbye to everyone who was on my flight and came home.

And so it's over.  London study abroad is done.